Ignorance is Bliss

Mm.. Winter is full of sexy sunsets too. Artist: algenpfleger

"Chopin Nocturne Op. 9 No. 3 in B Major (Arthur Rubinstein)"
(You should read Daphne's posts so my references etc. actually make some sense. *But they don't really do even if you read them*)
Sometimes in your life, you read something so compelling it makes you want to do something. Like crying or writing a response. I guess this is a the latter. Usually we do this because we disagree and have some enraged complaint. In my case then, YES 100% I DISAGREE. Well no... of course not. No one should be that un-supporting to a friend unless their concept is complete utter shit. Haha (Daphne you did nothing wrong.) Actually, I've heard Daphne speak of death like this so often that to the point where when she gets sad and thinks of the horrible possibility of complete unconscious numbness and starts crying, I can just stare and laugh at the idea. Being sad over the idea of nothing. Sure many people can say that death is something that they are afraid of because of several things: What will happen to my money? What about my presence on this earth? I don't want to be forgotten. It must hurt before death, hurting sucks. All my efforts will have gone to waste. My loved ones will be sad.
But like she said, the meaning of understanding life is to understand death. And even though Death is something that you can understand to the extent of life, it is nothing we will never fully be able to empathize with. Dead men don't tell tales. Certainly, that is true and exactly why Death is something so interesting. Death is what makes life interesting. The very thing that ends us brings us life. Strange, ain't it? Think about the phrase "Live like it's your last day". Pretty damn interesting. The thought that "it" will end brings some to do crazy random shit, but also compels others to achieve as much as possible. Unless you decide that there's no point in trying and just giving up (pretty reasonable idea for suicide). *ca-COUGH* Back to the topic that I actually don't have, I have to agree that the only thing that I have an extreme fear for would be the unknown. No amount of research or study can prepare you for the unknown. Guess that's why we can ask those with more experience to tell us what to do. 
You don't have to understand everything because it'd take the fun out of experiencing life itself. 
God will never truly be pleased and we won't either. You don't have only one life to live, who the fuck made that ridiculous CONJECTURE?! 1. Who are you to say there is only one life to live? 2. Stop saying that, just stop. Though I too have no basis for saying that it is incorrect. Hm.. Think about all the doors closed with the thought of "That it's not possible?!" It's good to stay open minded. Your brain needs oxygen to live too you know?
One day you'll wake up and realize that you haven't done anything else and that you have to make sure that your mark is on the planet. And one day you'll also wake up and realize that you've done well, lived well, perhaps not made your mark, but have done what you needed to do. Or maybe you'll just stay oblivious with the fact that nothing will start or end and realize that you pressed the snooze button one too many times and are late for work/school/whatever the hell you do.
Death is the lingering scent on the chair of the person you may meet, but will never remember the name of. He is the person you should stop assuming about because you will never understand him anyways. And he is perfectly content with the thought of being the ambiguous being he is.
And that is my conclusion. Have a nice day. Cyu.

Encounters with the Past

Hi everyone longtime no seeeee. Artist: Cola

Mmm.. You know that feeling when you haven't seen someone in a long time that you used to be close with but don't have anything in common with anymore? I got that feeling today.. Also with blogging right now hahaha. No post in 1 week do you guys miss me? :3 By "you guys" I mean 3 people that I can just talk to in real life and probably talked to during school today. After a few years you just realize that you didn't have much in common with that past good friend. Or did you? Maybe it was the changes that happened in between. In my case, it's where you can hardly recognize them and just stare thinking "..Who.. Is.. This..??" And it gets very awkward. Small talk followed by reminiscing and nostalgia usually comes. Unless you didn't really remember them at all. Then it's one-sided and even more awkward. Then again you can always ask how they're doing at their school now and what happened during the times that you just cut contact with them. I'm glad I don't have to deal with someone asking me why I didn't talk to them or all that stuff. I guess the more you see the bigger world, the more you see how so-and-so wasn't really that interesting or what's-it-so actually had nothing in common with you. It's a big world, eh? :c
In other news I interviewed my PE teacher about the provincial teacher job action. Hoping that I can use it for newspaper article/ actually write because I have never actually contributed to the club aside from attending meetings and being everyone's... "cheerleader"?  My PE teacher was really happy to be interviewed. DAMN I WANT TO BE INTERVIEWED TOO. He said some quotable stuff but too bad I wrote so messy that I won't be able to use the notes I wrote ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha. I should've planned better for questions rather than just stand awkwardly and make the :O face while saying "IZZAT SO? :O". NOW IF YOU EXCUSE ME I HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO.

CYU :<.

Good Ending

Power lines are so CAPTIVATING! Artist: Cola

6:19PM right now. Earliest I've ever started a post since.. My resuming of this bloggery business. Finished the main part of my essay.. Just gotta edit the rest. I finished a bunch of the shows I was watching this weekend. Quite a variety of endings. Do you guys like good endings? I talked about this before, I think. No one actually likes happy endings because they're cliche and predictable, but everyone likes to see the worst horrible shit happen. Maybe a tragic turn of events or the unexpected death will do the readers some good. Though it really varies. Tragic, happy or neutral; a good ending should always tie up all that shit in the story. Just so the readers/viewers don't have to complain to the writer/s about what this or that means. Even if it doesn't tie up all the shit, at least the ending should be open enough for us to paint the rest of the picture the way we like it :).
10:10PM right now. See how time flies? Probably because I typed this in 15 minutes but left it sitting there thinking that I could improve/add to it. Too bad writing essays drains my effort bar ;c. Going to finish editing my essay ololo cyu tmr hopefully.

CYU!

Lazy Saturday, First World Problems, Relationstuffs

Stars'nstuff. Artist: Cola

Sometimes I feel like my posts should be named either "Lazy ___day" or "First World Problems". Or both, or maybe even my whole blog title. Because when I write, I'm either complaining about school work, talking about how lazily eventful my day was or going on about how lazy and unmotivated I am. I'd like to deny all these things but they are true so I won't.
Has anyone ever had experience with dumping friends? I've heard that dumping friends is a lot harder than dumping a regular boyfriend or girlfriend. Probably because in a friendship you expect more or less. Equal? Friendship is the same, just without the romance bit.. Right? I guess. Depends on what kind of friendship. But what about in the case where you see them everyday? Call them, support their problems and their other relationships, hm... This applies to both right? Wait, what makes it harder then? Sometimes friendship feels like something that lasts longer, but at the same time a lot of relationships have their time limits and restraints. That's bad, isn't it. I've been thinking about this for the past day or so and it's probably the action of dumping that is the hardest. People all know that breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend can just be put in the words, but can dumping friends be just said like that?... I asked my brother and he said that he just doesn't talk to the person for a long period of time. That seems like a good idea until you realize that they still consider you as a friend. Then you're fucked, hahahaha. There is probably a simple solution for this but dumping people bluntly is something I would have a hard time doing. Unless I just couldn't stand it. Though I don't have experience with dating or friendship, let alone relationships with any type of human in general so scratch all that out above. ;_;.

Never mind this real-world business haha. New anime season coming up, I haven't even watched last weeks shows yet due to my "BUSY LIFE" *HACK*COUGH*HACOUGH*. Saw some trailers, not sure if anything has piqued my interest. I picked up a bunch of shows during summer without thinking that by the time I was back in school it'd be hard to keep watching. 2 episodes, pfff--no big deal... I think.
Going to sleep sit idle-ly around for the next hour before I realize that I should sleep.

GOOOOODN--CYU TOMORROW.

A Young Person's Worries

More Amemura. Background is too! Artist : Amemura

We are afraid of the future. We are afraid of the outcomes that we can barely foresee. So we choose to live day-by-day, focusing on what can be seen and done, the present. For me, future is a big deal, and maybe the most confusing part of me. Should I follow those childhood dreams that have always lingered back there or do what everyone wants? Whenever I think about my future I come to the conclusion that I'm young and have lots of time to think. But just how much more time do I have..? Feeling overly worried since I'm half through high school. This is nothing in life but a big deal for someone like me :(. Especially when you have those people who have careers that they've already decided and thought out. Where do you guys get the time to do that?? Pressure is tough in school too eh. When you're in an environment with so many people you run out of space to develop yourself and end up mashing into others. Now commencing self pity non-rant :(.
I thought of this after taking business.. Maybe I'm taking this to seriously, but I never thought twice about people joining a class like that with the intention of seeing it as a career eye-opener. I guess that's just how you feel in school since you take so many courses just because they seem fun or your friends are doing it. *COUGH* Anyways, there's nothing wrong with taking fun courses and doing that kinda stuff right now because future and adulthood aren't about fun :(. No fun and games, just work and stuff. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I wouldn't say much, shrug it off and say that I'll think about it later. But whenever I do think about it, my conclusion has always been that as long as it's a job that I enjoy, it'll be a worthwhile one. Dear future-self, please have a career that you enjoy ;_;.
Enough for today, I've gotten so boring that I just go to my friends house to sleep and play with glasses :<. Too much napping today so I won't be able to sleep. DAMN THISSSSSSS......

Rele..vant?  Artist: Monoyuu

Cyu laters.

Non-rant: Bits and Pieces

Sunset beach setting. So lovely :) Artist: Amemura

4 DAYS UNTIL SCHOOL

We've come to that point in summer where it is nothing but memories and reminiscence. What we lived through all of these past summers will just to disappear into the waves of time, like footprints in sand. Oh, youth, summer.
*clapclapclapclap*

Cheesiness doesn't come out of me right. It feels forced or maybe because I'm not the kind of person who would write monologues for fun ._. . "What's the point of living in the moment," is what I'd like to ask right now. So I googled it and came to Oprah's page.
I don't get the meaning of this from what I originally perceived: being significantly spontaneous about everything.
Reading this kind of stuff makes me feel like life is all bullshit and all these things are made up so we can feel better about ourselves. And that's probably exactly it :(. If living in the moment just means being more attentive and virtuous you might as well become Buddhist. Ahahahahaha. 

Whenever I try to rant it turns into pessimistic self-pity talk. That's why I call it non-rant (tags). Rant's are full of rage, complaints, and world-hate. Non-rants are for wimps like me who get angry at everything first and then end up blaming it on themselves. I can't stay angry too long because I end up feeling bad and blaming it on myself.

Sometimes I see people who are so talented that their existence seems impossible and it's like, "What the fuck dude, didn't anyone tell you to share?!?" But then you realize that all people have their own talents and if we were all that multi-talented we would still feel bad because so-and-so who is equally as talented as you makes $20 million a year and you're stuck at home uploading videos on youtube. Youtube isn't bad at all though!

I do believe everyone is talented (some just more deep-seeded). Some people's personality gets in the way of what they like or what they are good at though. Self-pity is probably as bad as jealousy. It's like you're pitying yourself because you can't be as good at this or that (ETC.) but you aren't doing shit about it besides whining and thinking you have it the worst in the world. In comparison, jealously is maybe better because aside from being infuriatingly angry/envious and cursing the person for what you wish you could have, you could also be working your way towards that goal.

This said, I want to say that the West teaches to be proud and the East teaches modesty. People say that being proud and aggressive is good but being modest is good too. But if you think about it, they are polar opposites and shouldn't really work together in harmony. This is why Asians don't like Bruce Lee's personality.
I wrote this all while listening to a sad romance-piano song. This DID NOT FUEL my non-rant for today.

This song is stuck in my head and the duet is nicely blended with lots of emotion :).The female's voice (Guriri- グリリ) is so nice here~~
CYU.

Subconscious Crater

Nature stuff yup. Artist: Koyori

We are always trying to fill this empty space in ourselves. And we ask ourselves "when did that shallow dent turn into a gaping hole?" I think things don't exist until we pay attention to them. That person you like didn't exist before you started noticing them. Sadness and anger didn't exist either, until you paid attention to them. In that sense, if you don't think about something long enough, it disappears! No, I'm not saying that locking yourself up will make you forget about the universe and all its sorrows (though others will forget you ); ), but it's interesting how this works. That empty space that you've been trying to fill-in all of your life could have always felt like it was there since the beginning.. Or it could just be a temporary once in a while thing. You could be filling in the hole without knowing it, or trying to stuff whatever fits into it.
When you're absorbed in something you can't think about problems like that (and the hole disappears!). I wonder if that's how workaholics feel. Work yourself until you forget about your troubles, debt, depression, desires. This is getting kinda gloomy, eh? :( Just wanted to take some time off counting down school days. Pondering is easier done than story-telling too.
Here's some ED shuffle music:

Avishai Cohen- Calm
Good stuff. Serious music for serious post. The album Continuo (which the song is from) is his best album in my opinion :).

This is too cute for me to ignore ;_;. Artist: Kodama

See you tomorrow~

Ponders in Hope

Nice colours~~ Artist: Kenji Asakawa

It is what keeps us moving, it is what we set in our lives, it forces us to wake up, it helps us go to sleep, and it can perhaps cure illness. So what is this amazing thing? Motivation.
It can also tie in with inspiration. I've been thinking about this lately because early in summer I basically lost motivation in all those things I that really kept me moving everyday and it kinda bummed me out to feel like that.. It was sort of like I could stop doing everything right then and nothing would really matter. And it wasn't a positive reassurance that everything was well, more as if I felt like nothing could move. Luckily, I'm out of that state of mind and I am back to regular operation now. Lol, no really XD. 
People often mix motivation with hope. Hope is a reassurance that takes place for motivation.. I think. You need to have aspirations or goals to feel like you're moving. I guess that's why the clock has just been going in circles back and forth for some of us. That or hope or faith in something, that something can happen; that you can change it. We get this feeling a lot.
Actually I don't think motivation can just disappear if it were there in the first place, it's just that something is blocking it. The block can be serious or just something that you can toss aside, but it's so frustrating at the moment that the block just won't budge. And when it does, your goals seem so clear again. It's refreshing, really.
It's amazing how something so simple can bring colour and meaning to our lives..

So what keeps you moving?