Sluggish Friday

Here's the calm before the storm. Artist: Inumaru

Thank GOD for Friday!!!!!
I don't think it's been a while since I've been so happy for a Friday in my life. These what.. 3 days of school? Have been so freakin' hectic I don't know where to start. You know that feeling of anxiety when you just burst and decide to let yourself swim in the pool of nervousness or just dedicate yourself to one thing and lose yourself in it? (Does this even make SENSE?) Either way, you're gonna drown. To me, anxiety is like the shittiest thing. My head is on fire, sound is blocked out by static, all I picture is black and scribbles. I should see a doctor lol :P.
 I went to my first real jazz band class where we did sight reading and I realized just how damn horrible I was. I always thought I was alright, and then I realized how inexperienced I was. The teacher said that I was good enough to join so I thought that was already a special privilege and stuff. The best way I can describe it is that concert band can be for casual players, but everyone in jazz band is serious about what they're doing. At least I think of it that way. I left for lunch feeling upset and depressed and just like I was drowning. Not a good way to end class, but last block was math so it was sort of calming. Simple stuffs, nothing surprising that makes me go nuts.
Because I can't write poetry and that kinda stuff like Daphne I'm just going to write my emotions the best I can. This week just gave me an awkward feeling, I felt like I was in grade 8 again. Not good. I hate that feeling, it's so unwelcome, I feel alienated. Ironically, today is some type of national anti-depression/suicidal day and tomorrow is burn Qur'an day/ 9-11 day (not really related?).
Man, if school is going to continue like this. I don't know what I'll do, seriously lol. The best I can do is adapt and about jazz band, just strive hard, practice like a maniac, emerge myself into music etc. Other than just keeping up with work, school wants me to join clubs, like SERIOUSLY! HOW DO I JOIN A CLUB WHEN I HAVE ALL THESE SCHOOL THINGS TO THINK ABOUT?! HUH? HUH??? And then they want me to think about career and jobs. I don't get it. What about my free time then? Where are my hobbies? ): Good thing I won't end up like that. I don't want to drag on my post, so I'm going to end it here and post somewhere tomorrow. I know it's 3AM now and I'm past deadline lol.

Good night everyone.